Life is full of beautiful moments. Often fleeting, but, in their own way, infinite.  

Just as you cannot expect or plan those moments, you shouldn’t expect or plan for the worst.  Constantly believing people are conspiring against you is foolish.  We’re always looking out of our own eyes walking our own paths. Any turmoil or happiness I cause others is rarely by design but is instead a side-effect of my own journey. 

Everyone is human. You are setting yourself up for disappointment to expect people to maintain their facade of composure indefinitely. I will not always be happy, I will not always be happy with you, I will not always be happy with myself; I will not always be upset, I will not always be upset with you, I will not always be upset with myself.  

I simply am.  I simply do, and I take life as it comes.  I have no idea what to expect, and to pretend that I do would be a poor illusion. 

I am yin, I am yang, and all in between.  I will not leave out parts of myself, my life, my world, who I am to keep you pleased.  If you have a poor opinion or a great opinion of what I do, what I say, who I am, that’s lovely for you, but, unfortunately, either way I don’t really give a damn.

I love people, but I have learned through trial and error that I can never love a person enough to dilute myself for them.

If I give you my time of day, then to some extent and in some form, I love you.  I will disagree with you. Still love you. You will piss me off. Still love you.  I will need a break or do something you hate every now and again. Still love you.  I will be the essence of what you loath. Still love you.  I will push you away and draw you back again.  Still love you.  I will be short with you.  Still love you.  I will embarrass you.  Still love you. If you can’t handle that, pity.

I do not care for anyone for the sake of it being requited. That negates the term “care”.  If you return that care, excellent. If not, pity.  But if you care for me at all, you must care for me even when you loath everything I am and do; you must care for my follies, not simply what you view as my strengths. Otherwise, your delusional view of “caring” is truly not giving a damn at all.

And, for the record, this aimed at so many people that it is impossible to be simply directed.  I am, I do, and I will continue to, no matter how you feel about it.

Please forgive me my angry spam of the beautiful and inspiring Allison Harvard.  

I’m so $#%@ing pleased to know that the judges of ANTM think that party hard fun what’s-her-name… I mean… Lisa… (who is better suited for a cover picture on the tabloids alongside Snookie than on Vogue) is a better role model and the future of fashion over creative, strange, beautiful Allison.  Allison reminds us that our quirks are to be embraced and are part of what make us beautiful.  She is a truly talented model, artist, creative director, singer, and writer.  She is already a role model for many, “All Star” or not.  That certainly will not change, despite the poor judgement of ANTM.